Monday Weigh In

I stepped on the scale yesterday morning, totally expecting to see a loss. Even a little loss. I hadn't been eating very good at all. But I ran a half marathon the day before my weigh in, so I figured it would all even out. I thought at least I would lose 1 pound. Well, I guess the good news is, I didn't gain! I lost .4 pounds. The week before, I had gained .6 pounds, so I'm almost back to where I started. I'm at 172.2 right now, and I really wanted to be at 169.8 by my birthday on Saturday. I'm realizing that this is not really an attainable goal right now. I just don't know if can happen. I am re-committing to losing weight, however. Losing weight to me is important for a number of reasons.
1 - To be healthier.
2 - To not have to haul as much junk in my trunk across the finish line at races. Even a 5 pound weight loss makes a difference to my knees, I'm sure!
3 - To feel good about how I look. I would love to say that I'm almost 30 and that my weight doesn't affect my happiness, but it does. I feel like a failure when I gain and it makes me depressed. I'm just tired of being overweight. When I lose weight and am at a maintenance weight, I feel good. I love being able to fit into my clothes. I realize I'm always going to have a little bit of a muffin top, but that goes down when I lose weight.
4 - As a person with a degree in health education, I feel that I *should* be at a healthy weight. I know the benefits. I know the why's and the how-to's. I want to be a role model; modeling being healthy in all of it's many facets.
5 - I want my children to understand what healthy is, and what a healthy weight is. Obesity runs in my family's genes. I want them to know that being healthy is something that you have to work at and balance the good and the bad in life to be healthy. I want them to be proud of themselves, confident in themselves, and to not have to struggle like I did. By choosing to stock my pantry with healthy foods, and modeling healthy behaviors to them, they will pick up on that and eat healthily and hopefully follow in my healthy footsteps.
6 - I would love, love, love to be a size 6. Ever since I was little, I wanted to be a size 6. When I lost 60 pounds back in 2004, I made it to a size 8. But I wasn't really exercising at all. If I keep exercising while eating healthily, I think I can make it to my size 6. I don't know why a size 6 sounds like the end-all-be-all of sizes, but it does to me. Right now, I'm in a size 12, so I have a ways to go. I will get there....eventually!

I have lots of reasons to lose weight. Lots of reasons why I should believe in myself, that I can do this! It's just so easy to lose sight of why I set out on this journey in the first place. It can be overwhelming when I think that I would like to lose almost 30 pounds still, and have only lost about 5. It seems like I have worked so hard for that 5, that it's just unreal. Next Monday, though, I WILL see a loss. I know it!