The good and the Bad

This week has just been so incredibly trying. Danny has been off of his normal sleep schedule and Derek has been working 10 - 13 hour days (and he had to work all weekend too). I am just exhausted and frustrated and ready for a break. And if it could go wrong this week, it did.

Before I vent about the "bad" things, let me get to the good things that happened this week: I freaking made it to the 160's!! Yesterday I weighed in at 169.2. Holy crap it took a whole heck of a lot of work (especially this crappy week), but I made it. Now my goal is to make it to 165 by the end of June. I seriously have just gotten so fed up with being heavy and with my million and one excuses as to why I didn't lose. I will admit, there were nights when I went to bed a little hungry - not starving mind you, just a little hungry. Normally, I would've just caved and eaten something, but I really, really wanted this to happen, so I made it happen.

The other good thing is that my little Miss Piper has decided she is interested in using the potty. Over the past two days, I've gotten her to go on the potty 3 times (all of which were successes). She is 22 months now and I had previously decided to wait until she was officially 2 before I started potty training her, but I figure a little practice now can't hurt, right? Plus, how nice will it be to not have to change any more diapers??? Oh, I can't wait! But at the same time, I get a little sad because my baby is growing up. I had always wanted three kids, but lately I've been feeling pretty content with the two that I have. And that just makes her growing up that much harder.

And in good/bad news, all the houses that we had planned to look at next week are now rented out. The rental market here in Dallas seems to be a fast-paced turnaround and I guess we waited too long. Hopefully there will be some more houses for us to look at next week, but we'll see. We are also scraping together all the money to put down for the first month's rent, deposit, pet deposits, etc for the move. I hate that moving is so expensive! I just feel like we are just barely going to be able to move, and that is scary and frustrating. Thank goodness we have awesome family who are willing to assist us if needed.

All the stress of Derek's car about to die, us having to move, trying desperately to lose weight, and a general lack of sleep have really taken a toll on me. I feel bitter and angry and a little depressed. It's so hard being a stay at home mom when your spouse has to work over time. I just need a few hours to myself to relax and not be around the kids. And nap. I seriously need a nap! And Derek working overtime has just made me feel like I don't matter. It's hard to explain, but he has had to go into work early, so I couldn't go on my 11 mile run and (maybe because I'm so tired) I took it personally. And I had a hair appointment yesterday (debacle that it was! Got stuck in traffic on I-30 because they are doing construction so I was 30 minutes late to my appointment; they cut my hair and then made me reschedule for my color appointment. So embarrassing and did not raise my morale at ALL) and my sister had to come babysit because Derek couldn't work from home  for the hours that I would be gone. Just inconvenient for everyone.

Anyway, I'm trying today to not be a crabby mommy and to engage the kids so that they are not under-stimulated which results in them acting out. I'm hoping it works because I am DONE with whiny, unhappy children who fight with each other. I'm hoping that a good night's sleep and a 9 mile run tomorrow will help my mood considerably.